5 Things Working Caregivers Should Do

As we’ve reiterated before, it’s incredibly hard to maintain a full-time job while providing care for an ailing or aging loved one. However, there are some things that working caregivers can do to help avoid burnout and promote balance in their life.

1. Working caregivers need to communicate honestly and openly with their employers. The only way employers can help their caregiver employees is if they know about their caregiving duties. Furthermore, most employers don’t completely understand what goes into full-time caregiving. Working caregivers should tell their employer everything that is going on in their caregiving situation, as well as the amount of time that they have to dedicate to their caregiver duties. Also, this communication needs to be continuous. Working caregivers need to keep their employers in the loop, and let them know when their ailing or aging loved one isn’t doing well. That way, there will be no unexpected surprises if the working caregiver has to leave to go to the hospital or bring their ailing or aging loved one to the doctor.

2. They can also talk to the person they’re caring for. Working caregivers need to remember to talk to their ailing or aging loved one. Usually, caregivers blame themselves and feel guilty if they aren’t dedicated 100% of their time to their ailing or aging loved one. However, if the working caregiver is regularly communicating with their ailing or aging loved one, they can take time for work or themselves without feeling guilty. Communicating their needs will help their ailing or aging loved one is incredibly important to avoiding burnout.

3. Working caregivers need to remember their friends and families. Working caregivers are usually so caught up in their responsibilities that they forget to ask for help. Remind any working caregivers that their friends and family are always available to help, even though they may not be the primary caregivers. If the caregiver isn’t comfortable relinquishing any of their caregiving duties, they can ask for help with running errands for themselves or picking up prescriptions.

4. Working caregivers have to take time to themselves. This is probably the most important thing that a working caregiver can do to prevent burnout. It doesn’t mean every working caregiver needs to take a week vacation immediately, but they do need to start committing at least 15 minutes a day to time alone.

 5. Talk to your employer about other options. Many employers offer eldercare support programs. Here at Long Term Solutions, we offer one of those programs to employers called WeCare+. It is a unique program that is specifically designed to help working caregivers find support and balance. While some employers don’t offer eldercare specific programs, they may offer flextime, telecommuting options, and more.

To learn more about Long Term Solutions and WeCare+, you can visit our website by clicking here.

New Technology for Caregivers: Planning with Apps

Caregivers assume an incredible amount of responsibility and a majority of their responsibilities revolve around planning and keeping track of most, if not all, of their loved one’s care needs. Usually, this is in the form of tracking doctor’s appointments, managing their loved one’s medications, and keeping track of important documents.  Fortunately, with almost everyone using a smartphone, there are a lot of technologies out there that can help caregivers with this planning.

Keeping Track of Doctor’s Appointments:

It’s incredibly easy to lose those small business cards that doctor’s offices give out for appointments. This can be especially difficult for a caregiver trying to track multiple appointments with multiple physicians and specialists. Tracking all of the appointments in a day planner is an option, but remembering to bring the planner to every appointment can be difficult. However, planning applications, such as Google Calendar, can be a great asset. Appointments can be organized by color, so a certain specialist can be assigned a specific color. This calendar can be accessed from multiple platforms, and can be quickly pulled up while scheduling.

Managing Medications:

There are multiple medication management applications, and most app stores allow users to browse through screenshots and reviews before committing to one. There is a great application called RxmindMe Prescription. This is a perfect application for caregivers. The application allows caregivers to set up alerts on a daily, hourly, or weekly basis. The app allows caregivers to be as specific or as general as they want. For example, a caregiver could put in an alert that says “call mom to reminder her about heart medication,” or the reminder could be more specific and state “remind mom to take 15 mg of Doxycycline.”  The best part of this application is the “Prescriptions” feature. This allows caregivers to group specific medications in categories. For example, heart medication, could be broken down into Lasix and Advair. In addition to this, the caregivers can upload pictures of the pills and dosing instructions for each medication to ensure that they are providing their loved one with the correct medication.

General Caregiver Information:

Eldercare 911 is an app designed by Dr. Marion Somers who is a Geriatric Care Manager, and it’s an incredible asset to caregivers. This is an incredibly helpful app that is designed to provide caregivers with all of the information needed while in an eldercare crisis. There is information regarding what to do before the crisis occurs, at the hospital, while planning for discharge, post-hospital care and while in recovery at home. Under each one of these categories are several sub-categories with even more resources. For example, if a caregiver is preparing for the discharge of your loved one from the hospital, this app provides information on how to hire help for your home, dealing with feelings of being overwhelmed, understanding adaptive equipment and more.  It’s incredibly easy to navigate, and the amount of resources in this app is astounding.

Currently, all of these applications are free in the iTunes store. Caregivers may have to try a couple of applications before finding one that works for them, but, in the time that they will save in the long run, it’s worth adopting these technologies.

Rising Cost of Nursing Homes

This year, Genworth Financial released their 9^th annual Cost of Care Survey. The results serve as a perfect microscope to examine the cost of care state by state, and to understand emerging trends in the cost of care. One of the most striking figures is the cost of a nursing home and their expected increase in price.

In the study, the facilities are broken down into three categories: assisted living facility, nursing home(semi-private room) and nursing home (private room). For this article, we are just focusing on nursing home stays in a semi-private room. Nationwide, the average nursing home costs $200 a day. This figure has increased 3.63% in 2011, and over the next five years it is expected to grow 4.5%.

 Across the United States, it looks like this trend stays true for each state, with some regions being more expensive than others:

•  The North East has some of the most expensive care. In Massachusetts a nursing home stay costs $322 a day, and $117,530 a year. 
•  The cost of care in the West Coast is cheaper than the North East, but is still above the national average. In California a nursing home stay costs $224 a day, and $81,760 a year. 
• Nursing homes in the South are slightly above the national average. 
• In Florida, a nursing home stay costs $215 a day, and $78,475 a year
• The Midwest also is slightly below the national average, with a nursing home in Indiana costing $187 a day, and $68,255 a year.
• The most expensive nursing homes can be found in Alaska, with a nursing home costing $273,750 a year.
• The cheapest nursing homes can be found in Texas with nursing homes costing $47,450 a year.

What does this mean for caregivers? Already, more and more family members are fulfilling the role of caregiver due to the cost of healthcare. With the costs of facility focused care expected to increase at an average of $15,300 a year, more and more family members will become caregivers because facility based care is just too unaffordable.

You can compare costs in your state and others at Genworth’s website, here

Elderly and Strength Training

Activity is incredibly important for the elderly. According to the CDC, if you are over 65, you should get at least 150 minutes a week of moderately intense aerobic activity and strength training at least two days a week.

Over the past few months, there has been more and more research highlighting the great health benefits seniors can gain from weight training.  In the most recent research, strength training was credited with preventing Alzheimer’s, dementia and cognitive decline. In addition to mental benefits, weight training can help seniors strengthen their bones, reduce their risk of falling, and contribute to heart health. Furthermore, according to the CDC, strength training has been credited with helping to reduce disease and symptoms of arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, obesity, back pain and depression.

For more information on strength training and exercise ideas, visit the links below:

CDC: Growing Stronger – Strength Training for Older Adults

About.com: Dumbbell Strength Training for Seniors

Useful Caregiver Tips: Finding Help

As a caregiver, one of the most important things to remember is to ask for help. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day duties of caregiving, and you can easily find yourself incredibly overwhelmed.It’s not first nature to seek out and accept help, but it can be a lifesaver in some situations. Here are some tips for doing that:

Talk to your friends. Keep them updated on your day to day caregiving activities, even when you’re not looking for an extra hand. If they know what’s going on they’ll be able to jump in and take over a few tasks for you.

Remember your other family members. Most of the time, one person assumes most of the caregiving duties. However, look to see if you can use your other family members for chores around the house or other errands that need to be done. Could you pay your son $5 to do the grocery shopping for the week? How about asking your daughter to fold the laundry? These tasks become so much more difficult when caregiving for an adult.

Start making lists. Detailing everything you do will help you identify which chores can be passed on to others.

WeCare+. Our WeCare+ program is designed to support caregivers in multiple ways. We provide guidance and direction regarding what type of assistance your loved one needs, and where to find elder care resources.

4th of July for Caregivers

As a caregiver, holidays can cause unnecessary stress. For caregivers caring for ailing or aging loved ones, the fireworks, parades and picnics associated with Independence Day can be difficult to navigate for a variety of reasons – crowds, accessibility and noise level are just a few of them. There are some basic things you can do to avoid the stress, and planning is crucial to having a joyous Independence Day.

Here are some tips:

- Contact your local town or city office to ask about accessibility. Ask where the best firework viewing areas are, how early you should get there, and ask about parking.

- Plan to get to any fireworks or parades early. It will be easier to navigate with fewer people, and you’ll be beating the crowds.

- Find the easiest and least obstructed path to the bathroom.

- Bring snacks and water. It’s easy to become dehydrated with the warm July weather, so make sure you and your loved one are well fed and hydrated.

- Make sure you have enough sunscreen for you and your loved one.

- Dress your loved one in layers, and bring extra blankets and sweaters in case the temperatures drop after sunset.

- Bring a deck of cards or some other game to take up some time before the fireworks start.

- Stay in and watch the fireworks on television with your elderly loved one!

Have a safe and happy Independence Day!

Let's Hear it for the Boys

Father’s Day is a great opportunity to discuss and appreciate a new trend: more and more men are stepping up and assuming the role of caregiver. Most caregivers are women, and this fact remains the same, but, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, in the last 15 years the number of men caring for aging loved ones has doubled.

Take some time out of your weekend to do something thoughtful for a male caregiver! In the meantime, read this great post from AgingCare.com about male caregivers: "Men as Caregivers"

Caregivers at LTS: Debbie

 “Where’s the nurse?” demanded a young and visibly stressed doctor.

Debbie was in a hospital room with her mother and two other nurses. Her mother had developed the flu and pneumonia simultaneously, and they were at the ER for the second time.

“No, where’s the nurse? The family member who is a nurse,” he insisted.

The nurses looked at each other, confused. Debbie was the nurse he was referring to, but she remained silent.

“I didn’t answer. I wanted to be called a family member and not a nurse,” she explained. “I am a nurse, but I’m also a daughter. Treat me as a daughter. I can’t visit my parents as a daughter. I have to always visit them as a nurse."

This struggle between being a daughter versus a nurse has been a source of great frustration. Being a caregiver is incredibly stressful, and being a nurse as well as a caregiver creates an additional stress. With her experience in nursing and working with caregivers, she was the perfect person to care for her parents. She knew about all of the resources. She knew about medical procedures. She knew what to expect as a caregiver. But, her role as her parent’s nurse quickly overshadowed her role as a daughter - a role she sometimes wishes she could get back. 

“It puts a lot of stress on me. I want to be there for the remainder of their lives having a cup of coffee, watching a movie, just sitting and not talking about making medical decisions,” she explained.

She became a full-time caregiver for two parents almost simultaneously. In November of 2010, her father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He immediately began chemotherapy treatments, and Debbie was there to drive him to appointments, monitor the side effects of the chemotherapy, and be the nurse. In the middle of all of this, Debbie also became a full-time caregiver for her mother.

Only three months after her father’s diagnosis, in January of 2011, her mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She had been complaining of shoulder pain, and her doctor discovered a mass in her lungs. She had to undergo immediate surgery to remove the cancer.

 “I had to find the right surgeon for her, set up the appointments, and advocate for her,” she explained. “All of this was happening simultaneously."

In addition to being a full-time caregiver for two parents, Debbie was working and taking care of her own family. She has a husband, two daughters in college and a son in elementary school.  She was devoting all of her time between work, her family, and her parents.

“During that course, I had to take a family leave. I couldn’t give 100%... and I feel, as an R.N., that I need to give 110% to my family.”

She also made the difficult decision to place her father in a nursing home so she could focus on her mother’s procedure. She knew that her father’s care needs would be addressed in a nursing home, and that combined with her father’s development of aspiration pneumonia, confirmed her decision.

“It was a lot of guilt and conflict because I couldn’t really take care of him in my home. I had to help my mother recover, take care of my son, support my daughters in college and work to pay their tuitions. So, it truly is a sandwich generation situation. And again, it was just me.”

With her father’s needs tended to, her mother underwent the procedure to remove the cancer. While there, she suffered from a weeklong ICU psychosis. Eventually, she was placed into a rehabilitation facility and was able to be move home with in-home help. Following that, with the help of Debbie’s mother and in home care, they were able to move her father back as well.

“We finally got him home. It’s been back and forth, and the hard part of all of this too, I mean it’s all hard, but the ironic part is they both got sick at the same time.”

This past April, Debbie’s father was admitted to the hospital with the flu and pneumonia. Shortly after, her mother was also admitted.

“When it hits, it really hits,” she said laughing.

During all of this, Debbie has strived to find some sort of balance. She took the advice that she gives so many caregivers on a daily basis: she sought outside help. She went to see a family therapist, which helped her put everything back into perspective and reach a balance. She recently starting golfing again, a hobby that she really enjoys. And, she received a tremendous amount of support from her colleagues at Long Term Solutions.

“Working really saved my life. We have our own LTS caregiver support group. We’re all about the same age. We all have parents aging who are in crisis, and we kind of pull for each other at this point."

Right now, her parents are both out of the hospital. Her father is still working with physicians to develop a treatment plan for with cancer, and Debbie can see that her mother is suffering an incredible amount of stress. However, this past week, Debbie didn’t go with them to her father’s oncologist appointment.

“I was going to go, but I’m trying to step back, and let them do it. I have to let them make their own decisions about what they want to do. Before I would have been, ‘I need to be there. You’re their daughter and you’re a nurse, and you didn’t go to that appointment?’ I have to get away from feeling the guilt.” 

Instead, Debbie went to work and made plans to go golfing that night.

Berries Delay Memory Decline

Here’s another great reason to incorporate fruit into your diet: berries may delay memory decline. In a recent study, researchers found that consumption of berries slowed cognitive decline in women 70 or older. In some cases, the cognitive decline was slowed for up to 2.5 years.

Blueberries contain an extremely high amount of flavonoids. These flavonoids are able to cross the blood brain barrier into the hippocampus, which is that part of the brain that is responsible for forming memories and learning. Interestingly, many medications aren’t able to cross this blood brain barrier.

So, be sure to put blueberries on your shopping list this week! You can read the full report here.

Caregivers and Social Media

This week, there has been a lot of discussion about the benefit of social media for caregivers. If you’re a caregiver, social media is a great way create a support group made up of caregivers, and to reconnect with friends and family.

There are many amazing websites that are created specifically to support caregivers, and one of the best features of these websites is the opportunity to vent. Talking to your friends and family can be incredibly helpful, and is a lifesaver on many days, but there is something extremely helpful in venting to a virtual group of caregivers. If you don’t feel like writing about your personal experience, you can read the experience of other caregivers and understand that you’re not alone in your feelings.

Social media is also a perfect way to stay connected with your friends and family. You can stay up to date on everything in their lives, and you can keep them posted on your caregiving duties. The best part about social media is that you don’t have to dedicate your entire day to catching up.

Here is a great piece from HealthyMagination.com with online resources for caregivers: http://www.healthymagination.com/blog/social-media-can-help-reduce-caregiver-stress/

Halting the Stress of Caregiving: Meditation

At Long Term Solutions, we’re constantly examining new techniques to support caregivers in their journey. One great way to manage your wellness is through meditation.  

Now, we don’t mean adding another thing to a list of your ‘to-do’s,’ we don’t mean learning new meditation techniques, and we definitely don’t mean wasting fifteen minutes of your day. We’re talking about meditating on the most basic level possible. It can be as easy as stopping what you’re doing, no matter where you are, and taking five deep breaths. As simple as that! 

One place to try this is waiting for your loved ones during appointments. Caregivers are always shuttling their loved ones to and from doctor’s appointments, so instead of stressing out about the next doctor’s appointment, what’s for dinner, or an overbooked agenda, take some time to meditate. Take five minutes to focus on breathing and not the thoughts scrambling through your head. You don’t have to completely clear your head of thoughts, but just pause them momentarily. 

Incorporating five minutes of meditation into your day will have incredible benefits! Here are six steps to quieting your mind from Huffington Post.  

Caregiving and the Importance of Getting Outside

Caregivers are constantly being bombarded with things they should and shouldn’t do to help process the incredible amount of stress involved with caregiving. One thing is frequently overlooked, and it is probably one of the easiest things to do: get outside!

The health benefits of sun exposure and fresh air are incredible. First, it’s important for caregivers because sunlight is a necessary part of the production of Vitamin D. Vitamin D has been credited with reducing the risk of cancer, increasing bone health, reducing the risk of developing osteoporosis, and it is associated with better moods and increased happiness.

Aside from the health benefits, going outside will give you an opportunity to take a break from caregiving. If you incorporate 15-30 minutes of alone time outside, you will see both mental health benefits as well as physical health benefits! As always, be sure to wear sunscreen while outside, and only moderate amounts of sun exposure is recommended!

Click here for a list of 25 health benefits of sun exposure.

Caregivers: Dealing with Issues of Anxiety and Depression in the Elderly

Caregiving is one of the most emotionally taxing jobs, and it can be even more difficult when you are caregiving for a loved one with depression or anxiety. Sadly, depression and anxiety in older adults is not completely uncommon. Older adults experience a significant amount of loss as the years pass. They experience loss of work, death of friends and loved ones, and their own physical and mental declines. These losses lead to depression and anxiety.

Caregivers are affected by the depression and anxiety of their elder loved ones. It is challenging to care for a depressed or anxious loved one and also take care of oneself. It is therefore very important that caregivers not ignore the signs of depression and anxiety either in their loved ones or themselves.

Here are some things to remember while caring for someone with depression or anxiety:  

It’s not about you. This may be the harshest way to put it, but remember that your loved one isn’t depressed or anxious because of something you are doing. Separate yourself from their depression and anxiety, and this will help relieve some of the feelings of frustration and anger that can develop. Depression and anxiety are clinical diseases and even the most qualified caregivers in the world couldn’t treat them without medication.

It’s okay to take a break. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotion, remember that it’s okay to put everything down and take a 15 minute break. Everyone can feel overwhelmed by emotion, and admitting to yourself and your loved one that you need a break is okay. Taking this time for yourself can help you regroup and be support your loved one.  

Know the symptoms of depression. Educate yourself on the warning signs and symptoms of depression. Understanding why and how your loved one is feeling will help you understand the disease more.  

Contact your physician immediately if you notice a change in your moods. If you see any symptoms of anxiety or depression in yourself, seek treatment. It’s easy to think that these emotions will pass, but depression and anxiety are serious illnesses.

Here is a wonderful article from HelpGuide.org about helping people with depression and anxiety while simultaneously supporting yourself emotionally. 

Ideas for Outdoor Activities with the Elderly

We’ve been having amazing weather in Massachusetts. So, we can't stop thinking about excuses to get outside. If you’re a caregiver for an aging parent or elderly loved one, it can be difficult to find activities that will engage your senior loved one and get them out into the sun. Here are some ideas:

Walking 

Walking is a great way to get outside and fit a little exercise into your day.

Photography

Buy a disposable camera for your elderly loved one, and get outside. It’s a fun way to talk about your surroundings and find interesting things to photograph. After, you can put a scrapbook together with the photographs.

Reading

This is a good option if your elderly loved one has mobility issues. If they have vision impairments, you can read to them, or bring an eReader or glare resistant tablet with adjustable font sizes. Find some comfortable lawn chairs and start reading.

Picnicking 

Bring a light snack, and head out to a nearby park. You can call ahead of time to see how accessible the park and picnicking area is.

Yard Games 

Horseshoes, croquet, and beanbag tossing games are all good options if you’re looking to create some entertainment in your backyard.

 Do you have any other additions to this list?

LTS Weekly News Roundup

Caregiving in the News: 
Science Daily: Simple, Low-Cost Yoga Program Can Enhance Coping and Quality of Life for the Caregivers
A study released by UCLA this week found that 12 minutes of yoga a day can reduce symptoms of depression in caregivers and also improve cognitive functioning.

Family Caregiver Alliance: 27 Things You May not Know about Women and Caregiving
In honor of International Women’s Day 2012, the Family Caregiver Alliance compiled 27 statistics about female caregivers and how they are impacted differently than male caregivers.

Elder Health in the News:
Chicago Tribune: Elderly sometimes keep using opioids after surgery
A recent study conducted in Canada indicated that one in ten older adults prescribed an opioid painkiller for surgery will continue to fill the prescription a year after the surgery happened.

BBC News: Poor literacy ‘increase early death risk for elderly’
According to University College London, one in three adults over 65 in England struggle with understanding health information, and as a result are more than twice as likely to die within five years.

Long-Term Care Industry News:
New York Times: Cost of Long-Term Care Insurance Keeps Rising
The American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance has announced that after analyzing 10 popular long-term care policies, they have found that prices for these policies have risen by 17%.

The Wall Street Journal: Long-Term Care: What Now?
With many insurance companies halting the sale of long-term care policies or raising premiums, it’s difficult to decide how to address your long-term care needs. This article reviews four options for addressing this.

LTS Weekly News Roundup

Here are some recently published articles about caregiving, elder care and the long term care insurance industry. Hope you find them interesting!

Caregiving in the News:
NPR: When Caregivers Are Left With Nothing More To Give
The author examines the dual nature of being a caregiver, and she discusses caring deeply for your loved one, as well as suffering feelings of guilt and anger.

Huffington Post: 7 Tips To Help Caregivers Field Their Loved Ones' Toughest Questions
A slideshow with suggestions on broaching difficult topics with aging loved ones.

Elder Health in the News:
New York Times: Excercising an Aging Brain 
According to the New York Times, more and more retired people are taking classes and educating themselves in hopes of delaying or stopping the onset of dementia.

USA Today: Aricept Helps moderate to severe Alzheimer's too
A recent study has shown that Aricept can still help ease symptoms for people with moderate to severe Alzheimer’s. The study also revealed that combining Aricept with Namenda in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease was not much more effective in easing symptoms than taking Aricept alone.

Long Term Care Industry News: 
Bloomberg: Prudential Halts Individual Long-Term Care Sales 
Prudential has stopped the sale of individual long term care policies. It has not been the only company to do so, with others citing underestimating the number of claims as well as the cost of care or life expectancy.

Forbes: Long-Term Care Services: Forgotten By Most Presidential Candidates
Of five candidates surveyed, only President Obama and Newt Gingrich responded with views on long term care services.

Administration on Aging YouTube Channel

Today, everybody should take some time to watch the YouTube videos that the Administration of Aging has put up on their YouTube channel. They have documented the stories of multiple caregivers, from a widow caring for her mother to a couple caring for both of their aging parents.

As our last post indicated, we think it’s extremely important to document the stories and experiences of caregivers. This is the best way to increase awareness and understanding. The videos from the Administration of Aging do this, and give an opportunity for other caregivers to learn about what resources are out there for them and how other people have successfully fulfilled the role of caregiver.

Click here to see one of those videos about a couple caring for their aging parents, and you can find the Administration of Aging YouTube channel by clicking here.

Caregiver Activity Ideas: Comedy

For senior citizens, a great way to continue to enjoy aging is by picking up a new hobby. Some common activities include walking, card games, water color painting, knitting, and more. In the U.K., Silver Comedy, a comedy training company, is leaving those usual activities behind and actively engaging seniors through comedy.

It is a great idea because there are many clear benefits of using comedy as a way to engage seniors, and incorporating comedy is a great idea for caregivers looking to diversify activities with their elder loved ones. Laughing with your loved one is perhaps one of the best ways to relieve stress, for both of you. Furthermore, engaging your senior in these activities will help prevent feelings of isolation and depression, as well as foster confidence.

Here is Silver Comedy's YouTube video explaining the benefits of comedy in the older population:

As a caregiver, you can try to incorporate comedy into your day as a way to break up the routine and enjoy a good laugh!

Caregiving and Depression

This week, Huffington Post included caregiving in a list of seven jobs associated with health risks. They reported that caregivers have the highest rate of depression, and 11% of caregivers have had a major depressive episode. Even more alarming, according to Caring.com, a survey revealed 25% of caregiver respondents suffered from depression. The national average reported by the CDC is 9%, so the incidence of depression among caregivers is more than twice the national average. Here at LTS we are trying to provide increased support to caregivers through WeCare+, with the goal of helping them manage stress and hence their feeling of helplessness.

Increasing knowledge is one step in addressing the occurrence of depression among caregivers. Understanding some of the emotional factors of caregiving is crucial to helping to manage potential episodes of depression. For example, it is normal for caregivers to experience frustration, anger, and guilt, but accepting this as part of the caregiving experience is difficult. Also, regularly seeing people you love in ill health can lead one to feelings of depression. It is especially difficult for caregivers who experience guilt when they take a break from caring for their loved ones. Furthermore, many caregivers have minimal knowledge of resources that can help them avoid or eliminate some of the stress involved with caregiving. These resources can address a range of caregiving issues, from emotional support to services and equipment that can help in the management of the care for their loved ones. Having the right level of support and information can contribute positively to managing stress and depression.

Knowing the symptoms of depression is an important step in managing the situation. Here is a useful fact sheet from the Family Caregiver Alliance about understanding, recognizing and treating caregiver depression: FCA Caregiving and Depression

LTS Workers Give Back featuring Marilyn Sutcliffe

In the first of a series of interviews with LTS employees who give back to the community, I sat down with Marilyn Sutcliffe to discuss her volunteer work with caregiver support groups. The interview:

What do you do to give back to the community?

Marilyn Sutcliffe: I facilitate a support group for caregivers in my community, and that came out of a caregiving class that I started teaching a few years ago. I’ve done it in conjunction with my church but it is open to any member of the community.  At the end of the course people felt they needed more time together, so we started a support group.  As the facilitator, I try not to give too many answers to problems, but facilitate discussion amongst the caregivers.  It’s amazing how many good suggestions they come up with for each other. 

What are the best things the caregivers take away from the group?

MS: A sense of knowing that other people have the same feelings.  Caregivers often get overwhelmed and overburdened.  They have moments of real frustration and feelings of resentment.  Sometimes they resent the fact that they have no free time for themselves, and sometimes it’s resentment towards siblings who may not be helping, or who criticize the sibling who is providing the care.  It’s good for them to see that they’re not bad people because there are other people, who they view as good people, going through the same issues, often guilt.  The other thing we do is focus on the positives of things they may be doing as caregivers, and someone might say ‘That’s a really great idea – I want to try that.’  I want them to come away with a sense of ‘I am not the only one who has these negative feelings - I’m doing a lot of good things, and I’m doing them the right way.’  The group gives them confidence in what they are doing and validates the fact that they are human and will inevitably make mistakes.  One thing often echoed is that it’s not always fun taking care of mom and dad.  The group really helps with the frustrations of caregiving.

Do the members of the support groups know each other before they join?

MS: No.

Do you feel like they develop friendships through the group?

MS: Yes, and that’s exactly why at the end of the class, the members wanted to start the support group.  They had really bonded and made friendships.  Sometimes people will get together outside of the support group.  We have a very caring bunch.  Sometimes someone will send out an email about a problem and they need some advice before the next meeting, and the number and quality of responses is amazing.  It’s a very interactive group.

What is the most rewarding part of your work?

MS: The fact that people leave the room with a sense that they now have new ideas that will help them with their caregiving and the fact that I create an atmosphere of “what happens here stays here” so there is a real comfort level in that room.  The members of the group really help each other, and that is very rewarding for me, because I feel like I am the one who brings them together.  It is truly a great feeling.  Also, it feels great when a support group peters out because the members feel like they no longer need support.

Without mentioning any names, do you have any favorite success stories that you would like to share?

MS: I had one woman in the group who was, as a caregiver, doing everything, and becoming very resentful but not really realizing it.   She felt like her siblings did nothing to help her.  Through discussions in the support group, she realized she was not doing an effective job asking for help.  She did end up asking her siblings for help, and she was happy to find that they were more than willing to share the caregiving duties, and it made her life a lot easier.

What is your best advice for caregivers?

MC: Find a support group. This can be a problem because caregivers are so busy and cannot find the time to go to a support group.  Some caregivers become so involved in their own work that they feel like nobody can do a better job, they do not reach out to others and they become overwhelmed.  So yes, find a support group.  Most senior centers and hospitals know where there are support groups, and most associations for specific diseases, like Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, multiple sclerosis, and cancer have support groups and it is important to try to connect with those.