Yes, the elderly date, too.

Just like “young folks,” people in older generations look to connect with others on a social, emotional, and physical level. A quick Google search reveals many online dating sites specific to seniors, and this vast list indicates how prevalent elderly dating is. Here are a few different issues we’ve come across with the elderly and dating.

Parents and dating: The thought of your parent dating might be one of the hardest things to imagine if he or she is dating someone new. It might be especially difficult if it comes after the loss of their significant other. The new couple can most likely relate to one another’s experience with aging, and they may also bond if they have the same physical illness or condition. If there is a large age difference or you have other reservations, you may want to consider these reservations more closely if the person brings positivity to your parent.

Sex and the elderly: In a New York Times op-ed from January 2014, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel shares the startling trends in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) among elderly: “The Department of Health and Human Services released a little-noticed report on Medicare a few months ago…The number of Medicare enrollees who took advantage of free STD tests is about the same as the number who received free colonoscopies to screen for colon cancer, amounting to about 5 percent of all those on Medicare.” As he says, this might not be surprising to everyone, as “…retirement communities and assisted living facilities are becoming like college campuses. They cram a lot of similarly aged people together, and when they do, things naturally happen.”

Clinicians need to be aware and open about this trend to prevent problems from arising. According to A Place for Mom, many STDs may be untreated in seniors because they’re hard to detect and they are so unexpected; also, STDs can actually make chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease worse. As a caregiver, as hard as it may be, it’s possible that you may want to have the “birds and the bees” talk with your elderly parent.

Dementia patients date: People who suffer from memory loss are also capable of finding connections with others. In the critically-acclaimed movie, Away from Her, starring Julie Christie, an aging married couple begins to feel the tensions of the wife suffering from Alzheimer’s. The wife moves into a long-term care facility. After some time, her husband visits and realizes his wife has connected with a mute, wheelchair-bound man who has made her happy. Obviously, this new relationship is difficult for the husband to understand, but as the film progresses, he finally comes to terms it. Away from Her was a beautiful movie and rated number six on Roger Ebert’s best movies of 2007. This movie was directed by Sarah Polley and was an adaptation of Alice Munro’s short story "The Bear Came Over theMountain" in The New Yorker.

Important Information for the Elderly: Allergies or a Cold?

With spring just beginning, it’s important for caregivers to learn how to discern between spring allergies and a cold. Why? This is important for a couple of reasons. The first reason is to be able to provide the most appropriate treatment. Additionally, colds can have different and more serious side effects for the elderly. As your elderly loved one makes their way through that box of tissues, take a minute to make sure it’s not a cold.

Here are some ways to determine if they are suffering from allergies or a cold:

1. Does your loved one have a fever?
Yes – Cold
No – Allergies

2. Are they achy?
Yes – Cold
No – Allergies

3. How long have they felt sick?
3-15 Days – Cold
Weeks – Allergies

4. Do they have a bad cough?
No – Allergies
Yes – Cold

5. Are their eyes watery and/or itchy?
Yes – Allergies
No -- Cold

If you believe that your elderly loved one has a cold, some rest, over the counter medication as recommended by their doctor, and time are the best treatment options. If you believe your elderly loved one is suffering from spring time allergies, over the counter allergy medication can help alleviate some of these symptoms, but be sure to always consult with your loved one’s physician before giving them any medications.

Here are some more web resources to help you determine whether or not your loved one is suffering from a cold or seasonal allergies:

WebMD: Is It a Common Cold or Allergies? 

Mayo Clinic: Cold or Allergy: Which Is It? 

ABC: Cold or Allergies: How To Tell

Helping Your Elderly Neighbors After a Storm

This past weekend, the Northeast was hit with a huge blizzard. Some towns received over 40 inches of snow, and the majority of towns received at least 12 inches. With the clean-up just beginning, and many without power, it’s easy to forget about your neighbors. However, the elderly are at high risk during these storms. Many times, they are physically unable to prepare their homes for storms, and it is too taxing to clean up following a storm.

Here are some ways you can help out your elderly neighbors after a big storm.

• Offer to help clean up any debris on their property.

• Help them with shoveling and clearing off their walk ways to prevent any falls.

• Throw salt and sand over their walk ways to prevent slipping.

 • If you have any extra food, bring it over to them during the storm.

• Bring them over extra supplies, such as batteries, water, blankets and canned food. • Call them after the storm to see if they need any supplies.

• Provide them with your phone number to call in case of emergencies. This way, if anything comes up, they will have someone to reach.

• Make sure that they have refills of all of their prescriptions. If they are stuck in the house, they may run out and not have enough left in their prescription.

 • Offer to run errands for them. Sometimes the elderly are hesitant about running errands because of poor weather. This will allow them to stay off the roads if they don’t feel comfortable

• Call them regularly to check on them.

• Call your local senior center and see if there is anything that they need.

 Leave more suggestions in the comments section below!

The Full Emotional, Mental, and Physical Impact of Caregiving

When discussing caregiving, it’s easy to separate the different ways caregiving impacts caregivers. The reality is that it impacts all aspects of one’s life. Whether it’s a sudden leap or a gradual transition into caregiving, at some point, any caregiver will tell you that their caregiving duties have affected their life on every level. We’ve written separately about the different impacts of caregiving, so we thought it would be a good idea to combine all of these into one post because that is how a caregiver experiences it. Their caregiving duties don’t first affect their physical health, then their mental. It’s all at once and it’s all happening simultaneously. Here are some of the basic ways that caregiving impacts people.

How does caregiving affect individuals physically?

Caregivers are impacted on a physical level for a couple of reasons. First, they are responsible for providing care to their ailing or aging loved one. This can be physically taxing and exhausting. Whether they’re caring for someone who needs help with all activities of daily living or a few, there’s no discounting the amount of exhaustion that comes along with this continuous work. It takes physical strength to help dress someone or to help transport them from a bed to a wheelchair. This round the clock care is simply exhausting.

 Aside from physical exhaustion, caregiving can impact the physical health of the caregiver. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, caregivers have higher incidences of several physical illnesses. They have a higher incidence of heart disease, various physical illnesses such as aches and pain, and they have a higher rate of mortality. Furthermore, many caregivers will put their loved one’s care before their own. This can leave many illnesses untreated and also render a lot of preventative care useless.

How does caregiving affect individuals mentally?

Caregiving is mentally draining. It’s difficult to manage somebody else’s care. Caregivers are constantly managing the schedule of their ailing or aging loved ones, and they have to be cognizant of an incredible amount of information at once. They need to remember physician appointments, medication interactions, individual diagnoses, prescription refills, budgets, dietary restrictions and more.

Additionally, they also experience a higher rate of mental illness. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, caregivers are more likely to exhibit depressive symptoms, suffer from anxiety, and experience other mental illnesses. Furthermore, because the caregivers are so focused on their ailing or aging loved one, many of these symptoms remain untreated. This isn’t limited to the period that they provide care, and it can last after the caregiver has relinquished their caregiver duties.

What are the emotional impacts of caregiving?

Caregivers experience a wide range of emotions. Caregivers do the most amazing work and provide incredible unparalleled care for their ailing or aging loved ones, but it is incredibly difficult to watch the health of an ailing or aging loved one gradually fail. This can cause incredible amounts of sadness in individuals, as well as some feelings of helplessness, frustration and anger. The other major emotion involved in caregiving is guilt. Caregivers will blame themselves for wanting time off, and will beat themselves up for leaving the side of their ailing or aging loved one.

Caregivers need more support – from society and from their employers. It’s an incredibly difficult task to undertake, and these brave individuals are impacted in every possible way. If you know any caregivers, offer them a helping hand or a friend to talk to.

Preparing Your Elderly Loved One for the Winter

Every year, we write about winter safety for the elderly. Why? It’s an incredibly important topic, for a couple of reasons. First, the harsh storms and cold weather associated with winter can be very dangerous for the elderly. Secondly, there is a lot of preparation work that needs to be done in and around the home to prepare for winter. This work can be physically taxing and difficult for the elderly, and they may not be able to complete it before winter sets in.

Tips for keeping outside walkways safe and clear: 

 • To avoid falls, put canisters full of kitty litter, sand, salt and gravel at the top of each set of outside stairs. This way, your elderly loved one can easily throw the mixture over any icy patches.

• Contact your elderly loved one’s neighbors. If you can’t be there following a snow storm, have their phone numbers handy and ask them to check on your senior. In addition, pay the neighbor’s son to shovel your ailing or aging loved one’s walkways after a storm.

• Go through your elderly loved one’s home and check all outside railings. Make sure that they are sturdy and that your elderly loved one can easily grab on to on them while walking on anything slippery.

Tips for preparing the house for winter:

• Give your elderly loved one extra blankets, scarves, hats and mittens. This way, if the heat goes out they will still remain warm.

• Check carbon monoxide and smoke detectors, and replace any old batteries.

• Have a professional check the heating system in your elderly loved one’s home. In addition to that, clear any clutter away from heating vents to prevent fires.

General safety tips:

• Stock up on non-perishable goods, and have at least a few gallons of water in an easily accessibly place.

• Make sure that all batteries in flashlights have been replaced, and make sure that candles and matches are easily accessible.

• Lastly, ensure that your elderly loved one has an extra prescription of any necessary medications available in case they get snowed in.

The most important thing to remember is to stay in constant communication with your ailing or aging loved one!